Somedays I find myself saying…Do people actually want to read my ramblings? It all sounded so clever in my head and on paper It appears that I’m maybe just a little crazy afterall. I feel classy, trassy and sassy all bundeled up into one big package they call Ashley.
And so it begins…I guess this whole idea started after hearing the all-too-common phrase, “you should write about that!” Should I? Really…Serisously? So.. I’m writing about “that.” The crazy, wonderful, beautifully chaotic thing I call life. At 20, I find myself working as the reporter for an established paper, happily married and the mother of two; two absolutely hysterical and sometimes terribly frustrating labs. The husband, he’s great. He’s got all these ideas, ambitions and goals. Something I know I once had; I think I just need to find them again.
My husband Tyler recently decided to enlist in the Army National Guard. Something I find so noble and wonderful; just something I couldn’t find myself doing. He’s been working very hard and he seems excited about his endeavors and I am more proud of him than I could even begin to explain. I think the first time I see him in uniform, my heart might explode and I may burst into tears..but I’ll be alright. Promise. I think I’ll be fine while he’s away. Actually, I know I will. Although I will miss him with all my heart, there are plenty of things I have been wanting to do, just haven’t ever got around to. My goals so far: Continue with my modeling, maybe do something very wonderful, something he will be proud of. I want that. I want to be able to say, “Hey everybody, Look what I did!” I’d like to start taking a dance class. All through high school I was a cheerleader. I loved every bit of it, but I never had an ounce of coordination. I think I’ll take ballet. Yes, ballet. I’ve always envied ballerinas. Every fluid movement, full of grace and poise. Maybe I’ll take pilates too. I’d like to loose a little more weight, tone up some and finally do that bikini shoot I’ve been longing for. Maybe I’ll paint the house, or do some other drastic improvement he’ll be totally surprised and delighted with. I’d love to score an internship with some big newstation and tape some demos. I’ve always wanted to be an on-air reporter. For now, I think that’s enough goals.. Don’t want to get ahead of myself.
Back to current life…Christmas is just what…a week away? I have nothing done! Literaly, I have like, a couple of presents. That’s just unacceptable. I don’t know what I was thinking! I’ve never been a Christmas procrastinator. So, Friday I am desingating shopping day. Along with 50 million other Americans who like-me, waited until the last minute. Who knows..Maybe I won’t get trampled in the wal-mart or get run over by any carts. Most likely, I will. Something ridiculous like that happens to me almost daily.
Speaking of ridiculous. I’ve been wanting to get something off my chest. I know I live in a small town, but DAMN. Some people are sooooo nosy. And because the town is so incredibly small and close knit. I’m going to call her Nosy-Rosy, just so no one gets their feelings hurt. Just the other day, she had the audacity to say, “Miss Ashley, I heard that just the other day someone saw you….Smoking?????” Just then, I wanted to take the ridiculously large purse I was carrying and smack Nosy-Rosy up against the side of the head. Possibly tackle her, and pull off her imaginary wig, The voice inside me was saying, “Are you (*&&*^*&^8 kidding me? Is this a serious question.” I know everyone in the WORLD, yes I said it. WORLD, has bad habits. Whether you bite your nails, chew on pens, don’t wash your hands after you pee or don’t use your blinker- I know you do it. Do I call you out in public and ask why you would do such a thing? Absolutely not. I know I have a bad habit… It’s not like I smoke a pack-a-day. It’s occasional!!! Occasionally when people piss me off…Occassionally when I am relaxing…Occasionally whenever I WANT! The little voice on my other shoulder then cautiously reminded me to think of where I was in this particular moment, take a deep breath and say oh-sooo-politely, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Okay, so it wasn’t all that polite. But it sure was better than what I wanted to say. Sometimes I think the voices in my head need some prozac.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
A little bit of life...
Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone. Phew! That could've been bad. Reuniting family members and throwing them all into one house. It was good though. Both sides of the family had meals, the husbands side on Thursday and my side on Friday.
Fixing dinner was fun and rewarding... Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves... Or they're really good at pretending and trying not to hurt my feelings! LOL
Family. Food. Friends. It doesnt get much better.
Monday, September 22, 2008
A tribute to my grandmother, Judy Vaughn
My Grandma, Judith Darlene Vaughn was diagnosed with lung cancer in January of 2000. It was something I didn’t really understand at the time. Although I knew cancer was deadly, my grandma was such a strong-willed woman that I viewed her as invincible. I never thought the cancer would take her away from us.
My grandma’s death in May 8, 2002, wasn’t unexpected and yes, it put an end to her suffering. But call me selfish; I wish she were still alive. She spent only one week in the hospital before she passed and then she was gone. I regret not visiting her during her last days, but at the time, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to see her in that condition, I wanted to remember her as healthy and strong. I talked to her on the phone during her last hours. What she told me is one thing I always keep with me. She said although I may not be here to see your high school graduation or when you get married, I will always be with no, no matter what. I will be in your heart.
I never realized how much I loved her until she was gone.
There are many things that I will always remember about my grandma Judy. I will always remember her huge homemade breakfasts after us grandkids would stay the night and family dinners on Sunday, where she never failed to burn the rolls. Her homemade deserts were especially amazing; pineapple upside-down and strawberry dump cakes in the summer and fudge from scratch every winter. She also used to make soups and she would always make enough for everyone to take home leftovers. For her, giving food to her family was giving love. And she gave a lot of love.
I will always remember the stories that she would tell me of her childhood. About how she walked to school barefoot (up hill both ways of course) and chewed tar and rode raced ponies bareback without even a halter. Some of her tales put pictures in my head like an old western movie.
I will always remember how Grandma Judy loved playing cards, especially Spades. I can remember her and my mom teaming up against my Grandpa and dad late into the evenings, Grandpa diligently keeping score. I can remember her love of fishing, and an even greater love of playing bingo. Another hobby of hers was putting together puzzles. I can’t remember a time that my grandma didn’t have one puzzle or another sprawled out across the snack bar in her kitchen. When she was well, she loved to crochet and would make blankets and for friends and family. She tried to teach me years ago, but I never got the hang of it. She also had an undying love for animals. She and my grandpa raised an entire litter of displaced baby squirrels. The squirrels were sent out into the wild when they were old enough and they would always come back to the door for pecans. I can remember sitting by the door for hours feeding the wild squirrels with my grandparents and it is something that I will never forget.
One of my favorite things to do at her house was dust her small collection of “knick-knacks” and when she let me play with her hand painted Russian stacking dolls. She always told me not to tell the other grandkids that she let me play them, but I think she secretly let them too. Until now, I did not know that the nesting dolls are a representation of motherhood and fertility. I will always remember the smell of the Wild Sweet Williams that I would pick for her every spring that grew in the field between her house and mine. I will always remember the Sunday suppers at her house with all the family. My cousins and I spent hours playing in her house.
My grandma always had a wonderful sense of humor and was always quick with a wisecrack. Her speech was unique, she referred to the sink as the "zinc", the refrigerator was an "icebox" and the restroom was referred to as “the tarlet.”
I loved my grandmother, not for what she was, but more for what she wasn’t. Grandma Judy was actually my Grandpa’s second wife but she loved all of us like we were her own. Grandma gave me more than material things, she gave me her undying love and taught me many life lessons; like not to smash green beans into the holes in the deck, because they will only come out the other side and she would always find them, or not to throw playing cards through the furnace vents from the upstairs to the basement, because “that could catch the house ‘a’ fire!” and she would always find out.
She remained independent up until a few months before her death, not wanting to bother anyone or put them out of their way. She was hard-headed and set in her ways and I think that was one of her finest qualities. I miss her feistiness and strong will. Maybe that’s where I get it.
As the pastor said during her funeral, she led an ordinary life, but to those who loved her, she was extraordinary. Although it’s already been six years since Grandma passed away, it still feels like it was yesterday and I miss her very much. I will be forever grateful and thankful that she was my Grandmother.
Ashley Holton
My grandma’s death in May 8, 2002, wasn’t unexpected and yes, it put an end to her suffering. But call me selfish; I wish she were still alive. She spent only one week in the hospital before she passed and then she was gone. I regret not visiting her during her last days, but at the time, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to see her in that condition, I wanted to remember her as healthy and strong. I talked to her on the phone during her last hours. What she told me is one thing I always keep with me. She said although I may not be here to see your high school graduation or when you get married, I will always be with no, no matter what. I will be in your heart.
I never realized how much I loved her until she was gone.
There are many things that I will always remember about my grandma Judy. I will always remember her huge homemade breakfasts after us grandkids would stay the night and family dinners on Sunday, where she never failed to burn the rolls. Her homemade deserts were especially amazing; pineapple upside-down and strawberry dump cakes in the summer and fudge from scratch every winter. She also used to make soups and she would always make enough for everyone to take home leftovers. For her, giving food to her family was giving love. And she gave a lot of love.
I will always remember the stories that she would tell me of her childhood. About how she walked to school barefoot (up hill both ways of course) and chewed tar and rode raced ponies bareback without even a halter. Some of her tales put pictures in my head like an old western movie.
I will always remember how Grandma Judy loved playing cards, especially Spades. I can remember her and my mom teaming up against my Grandpa and dad late into the evenings, Grandpa diligently keeping score. I can remember her love of fishing, and an even greater love of playing bingo. Another hobby of hers was putting together puzzles. I can’t remember a time that my grandma didn’t have one puzzle or another sprawled out across the snack bar in her kitchen. When she was well, she loved to crochet and would make blankets and for friends and family. She tried to teach me years ago, but I never got the hang of it. She also had an undying love for animals. She and my grandpa raised an entire litter of displaced baby squirrels. The squirrels were sent out into the wild when they were old enough and they would always come back to the door for pecans. I can remember sitting by the door for hours feeding the wild squirrels with my grandparents and it is something that I will never forget.
One of my favorite things to do at her house was dust her small collection of “knick-knacks” and when she let me play with her hand painted Russian stacking dolls. She always told me not to tell the other grandkids that she let me play them, but I think she secretly let them too. Until now, I did not know that the nesting dolls are a representation of motherhood and fertility. I will always remember the smell of the Wild Sweet Williams that I would pick for her every spring that grew in the field between her house and mine. I will always remember the Sunday suppers at her house with all the family. My cousins and I spent hours playing in her house.
My grandma always had a wonderful sense of humor and was always quick with a wisecrack. Her speech was unique, she referred to the sink as the "zinc", the refrigerator was an "icebox" and the restroom was referred to as “the tarlet.”
I loved my grandmother, not for what she was, but more for what she wasn’t. Grandma Judy was actually my Grandpa’s second wife but she loved all of us like we were her own. Grandma gave me more than material things, she gave me her undying love and taught me many life lessons; like not to smash green beans into the holes in the deck, because they will only come out the other side and she would always find them, or not to throw playing cards through the furnace vents from the upstairs to the basement, because “that could catch the house ‘a’ fire!” and she would always find out.
She remained independent up until a few months before her death, not wanting to bother anyone or put them out of their way. She was hard-headed and set in her ways and I think that was one of her finest qualities. I miss her feistiness and strong will. Maybe that’s where I get it.
As the pastor said during her funeral, she led an ordinary life, but to those who loved her, she was extraordinary. Although it’s already been six years since Grandma passed away, it still feels like it was yesterday and I miss her very much. I will be forever grateful and thankful that she was my Grandmother.
Ashley Holton
Titles are Lame...
...or I am just too lame to come up with one. No creativity whatsoever - bah!
There are many confused people roaming around in this great big world of ours.
Some are lonely. Some are smart, or stupid or just plain mean. Some are lovely, persuasive or sarcastic. Some can't coordinate their clothes to save their souls.
What's to become of mankind if there isn't an intervention? Someone who cares, a voice of reason during troubled times? You know, someone with an opinion that's filled with age-old wisdom, handed down from the great thinkers of our time, answering the questions of family, fashion, friends and relationship that keep you up at night? Even if I don’t know the answer, I promise to provide some type of humorous unwanted insight to my readers. Well, fret no more, my friends! Hope rises on the horizon in a big sunny ray of light called "Dear Ashley". That's right; I'm here to lend a french-manicured hand to those wrestling with the connundrums of life.Though I can't balance my checkbook, however, I am rather astute at offering advice, even when it’s not needed. In fact I have a friend who told me that if she ever needed advice I'd be the last person she called, which only proves the age old adage, "It's always in the last place you look."
There are many confused people roaming around in this great big world of ours.
Some are lonely. Some are smart, or stupid or just plain mean. Some are lovely, persuasive or sarcastic. Some can't coordinate their clothes to save their souls.
What's to become of mankind if there isn't an intervention? Someone who cares, a voice of reason during troubled times? You know, someone with an opinion that's filled with age-old wisdom, handed down from the great thinkers of our time, answering the questions of family, fashion, friends and relationship that keep you up at night? Even if I don’t know the answer, I promise to provide some type of humorous unwanted insight to my readers. Well, fret no more, my friends! Hope rises on the horizon in a big sunny ray of light called "Dear Ashley". That's right; I'm here to lend a french-manicured hand to those wrestling with the connundrums of life.Though I can't balance my checkbook, however, I am rather astute at offering advice, even when it’s not needed. In fact I have a friend who told me that if she ever needed advice I'd be the last person she called, which only proves the age old adage, "It's always in the last place you look."
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